Saturday, April 26, 2014

The Secret to Parenting

I was making my monthly rounds around the Facebook scene today and something got to me. This is something that I find amusing, and usually I just let it go, but for some reason the stars are in alignment and I feel like going on a tangent tonight. So here goes.

I see all the time on Facebook the comments of people talking about other people and their kids. They are full of advice, correction and judgement. Additionally, those of us who are parents likely all know someone who is always willing to tell us what they will do when they have kids. They have a plan of action that will yield results that you could duplicate in any lab. And, those of us who are parents, smile knowingly and if we really like them, we hand them another shovel.

Here's the point I'm getting at. Those who don't have children of their own have no idea how to best care for someone else's kids. Those who have children of their likewise have no idea how best to care for someone else's kids. This is because even those who have their own children do not really have any idea how to best care for their own children.

Parenting is a  learning process. Their is no instruction manual. There is no magic plan that will yield the same result, time and time again. The reason for this is simple. We are all different. Our society embraces it. The hipster group that so often is willing to voice their opinion on how other people should raise their kids holds this fact up like a banner. And so why is it that we can't seem to understand that children are all different as well. There are unique challenges that must be overcome, and that is what parenting is. It is the ability to adapt to all of the unique situations that each of their children may present to them, and to prepare them for life and for success, using love as a guiding force.

So the next time that you see a parent dealing with a child throwing a tantrum, or hear a child screaming or throwing a fit in a store, stop and think before offering to solve all of their parenting problems.